This post is the final part of A Decade of Lessons series. It’s recommended to read the previous part of the story first 2015: The Messenger Had to Die; 2020: When the Emperor Said “Stop”; 2025: Excuse Me, Who is She?

I don’t know the correct answer or if there is a correct answer to this question.

Looking back to a decade ago, I can tell that I am now in a better state. My feet have firmer grasp to the ground, and overall, I feel like I have more power to protect myself.

What’s written in “A Decade of Lessons” is not the only issues I struggled with, of course. Life seems to enjoy throwing me problems — but I’m not gonna deny that I got thrown a lot of blessings as well.

Something I noticed these days, something that genuinely impressed me the first time I realized it, is how quickly I recover from negative feelings. I’m still the same person as I was ten years ago, still feeling things too quickly and too deeply. But ten years ago, when I encountered negative feelings/event, I’d be stuck in them for days or even weeks.

Earlier this year, I noticed that when I dealt with a toxic person during the day, my head would be stuck in it until the time I went to bed. But when I woke up the next morning, I already felt so fresh. It happened like that for weeks. I had to deal with that toxic person for weeks and each morning during that period of time I woke up fresh.

At one point I asked myself, “Is this how it feels to be mentally fit?! Feels so nice!”

Aside from quicker recovery, I also feel that I have more power to remove myself from negative situations.

“We will find our way out of this” has been my mantra for the last few years. I don’t know where I got it from. It just showed up in my head one day.

If this is what being mentally fit feels like, then it’s an incredible state to be in.

It’s not that everyday is sunshine and rainbows. It’s not that when I meet toxic people I don’t feel angry (this particular matter is very unlikely to change). It’s not that I don’t grieve loss. It’s not that I’m immune to negative feelings. I’m still affected by them, but not for too long.

I came to conclude that being mentally fit is not a final state, much like being physically fit. Every now and then, my mental will still have to deal with mental issues, like my physical body will still have to deal with soreness or fatigue. In both states (mental and physical), it’s easier to recover when we’re strong. And both mental and physical strength isn’t built overnight.

I think being patient with myself played a significant role in my recovery. I never put a timeline on when my sadness should end. I just believed that I would meet the ending, not knowing when.

Lastly, I think mental fitness isn’t an absolute state. Just like the fittest person can still get cancer, mentally fit people can still get a problem that’s big enough to knock them off. And that’s okay. We can always try to recover. There’s no guarantee if we will ever recover, though. But I think to keep trying is how we can honor the fight that we had put up in our past.